How to Not Fall Out With Your Housemates When Renting

I recently moved into a flat in London with friends. My sister Lucy, Viven’s co-founder, recently bought a home with her partner. She gets to argue about paint colours. I get to argue about whose turn it is to buy milk.

Living with other people is brilliant and maddening in roughly equal measure. You save money, you have company, and there’s always someone to debrief with after a bad day at work. But you also have to navigate washing up politics, thermostat diplomacy, and the eternal question of who keeps leaving the bathroom light on.

If you’re renting with housemates — whether you’re 22 and fresh out of uni or in your late twenties quietly doing the maths on deposits — here’s how to make it work without damaging your friendships.

The washing up

This is the number one source of housemate tension. I’m putting it first because it causes more grief than everything else on this list combined. The pan that’s been “soaking” for three days. The mug growing something in the sink. The plate that everyone walks past pretending they can’t see it.

The fix is simple: if you use it, wash it. Not later. Now. Two minutes. If you’re lucky enough to have a dishwasher, you’ve eliminated about 40% of potential household disputes. If not, agree on a system early. What never works is assuming everyone has the same definition of “clean.” They don’t.

Sort out bills before you move in

Have the money chat before the first bill arrives. Who pays what? Is it split equally? What about the person who works from home five days a week and is responsible for most of the heating bill? These are awkward conversations, but they’re much less awkward at the start than three months in when someone owes £200 and nobody wants to bring it up.

Set up a joint account or use Splitwise. Automate everything. Remove the human element as much as possible. The alternative is becoming the person who sends a message starting with “Hey, not to be weird about money, but…” and then proceeds to be extremely weird about money. (And make sure you’ve properly checked the area before you sign the tenancy, so the bills aren’t the only surprise.)

The thermostat

Nothing exposes how different two people are faster than a shared thermostat. One of my housemates genuinely thinks 18 degrees is comfortable. I’m over here in two jumpers wondering if we’ve accidentally moved to Siberia.

Agree on a range and stick to it. 19–21 degrees is reasonable. If you’re cold within that range, put on a jumper. If you’re hot, open your own window with your own door shut. Don’t heat the street with everyone else’s money.

Guests and partners

At some point, someone’s partner will start staying over. A bit. Then a lot. Then they’ll have their own mug and their own shelf in the bathroom.

This is one of those things that starts small and becomes a real issue if nobody says anything. If someone’s partner is staying four nights a week, that’s not “staying over” — that’s living somewhere. They’re using hot water, electricity, bandwidth. A simple “Hey, should they chip in for bills?” is awkward for thirty seconds and resolves it for months.

Noise

After 10pm, assume someone is trying to sleep. Use headphones. Don’t slam doors. Don’t start cooking anything that involves chopping or frying. If you want to have people over, a quick heads-up goes a long way. It’s not about being silent — it’s about being considerate.

The fridge

There are two systems and both work. Everyone has their own shelf and you don’t touch what isn’t yours. Or you share basics and split the cost. What does not work is the grey zone — the “I thought the hummus was communal” defence. Pick a system, stick to it, and throw things away before they develop a personality in the back of the fridge.

Cleaning

Everyone thinks they’re the clean one. Everyone is wrong. A rota sounds tedious but it works. Bathroom this week, kitchen next week. Put it on a whiteboard or a shared doc. The alternative is one person doing everything and silently building resentment until they snap over a teaspoon.

Just talk to each other

If something bothers you, say it early. While it’s still small. “Hey, could you not leave your shoes in the hallway?” is a perfectly normal sentence. Saying nothing for six months and then exploding over a pair of trainers is not. Most people genuinely don’t know something bothers you until you tell them.

Pick the right place

Half the battle is the flat itself. If the insulation is terrible, the broadband cuts out, and the boiler sounds like a helicopter, everyone is going to be miserable regardless of how good the housemates are. Before you sign a tenancy, check what you’re committing to. Is the area safe? What’s the council tax band? Can the broadband handle everyone on Zoom at once?

A Viven rental report pulls together crime data, transport links, broadband speeds, energy performance, council tax, and local amenities — so you know what you’re signing up for before you commit. Because the letting agent is not going to tell you that the nearest Tube is a 25-minute walk or that the EPC rating means your heating bill will be eye-watering.